My preferred funeral

Play Handel’s ‘Arrival of the Queen of Sheba’

or ‘Zadok the Priest’.

As you enter the building

take a scoop of my ashes

and throw me in the guts of the stale church air.

Jump up on the altar and conduct like madmen.

Every one of you.

Dance however you like.
Drink whatever you please.
Kiss whomever you desire.

Don’t mope around,

stunned,

faces hung

like wet socks.

Smile —

you miserable bastards

— or I’ll haunt you


Anna Bonetti (Victoria)